I’ll keep this mostly spoiler free.
When television series make their jump to the big screen, we typically see the stakes raised. The X-Files: Fight the Future killed off a recurring character, stopped hinting about aliens and actually showed them.
Serenity tried to cram at least two seasons of material from the cancelled Firefly into two hours. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me dialled up the weirdness to 11 and South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut became a musical that literally unleashed Hell on earth.
You’ve got to go big, otherwise what’s the point? You’re trying to encourage people who watch you at home to get off their sofas and take a trip to the theatre. It has to be an event worth the price and inconvenience.
The latest show to attempt this great leap is The Mandalorian and Grogu. It charts a different path from those that have come before by NOT going big. Instead, it stitches the equivalent of 3-4 episodes of the show together and calls it a movie.
If I’d watched the events of The Mandalorian and Grogu on Disney+ as season 4 of The Mandalorian, I would be mildly entertained. It’s a fun enough adventure and a definite step-up from season 3.
But as a movie? It sucks. It’s oddly structured, suffers numerous plot conveniences, pacing problems, and pads out its 2 hours, 15 minutes runtime (that felt much longer) with pointless, blurry, shaky cam monster fights.
Sound and Fury
But what’s worse is that none of it means anything. It’s another modern exercise in sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Movies have to be more than mindless content. Success shouldn’t be measured in minutes watched. The story should progress. Characters should evolve and learn something. And don’t be afraid to throw a moral or two in there for good measure.
The Mandalorian and Grogu does none of that. As a result, it’s not really a movie but…well, a television show. Specifically, a non-serialised, villain-of-the-week show with no overall arc. A show that the studio runs into the ground and then unceremoniously bins when the ratings drop off.
I think we’ve reached that point.
At least The Mandalorian television show seemed to be building towards something. Giancarlo’ Esposito’s Moff Gideon was dabbling with cloning technology, laying the path that would eventually lead to Snoke and the rise of The First Order. We might even get an answer to the mystery of how Palpatine, somehow, returned.
None of that is in the movie. Katee Sackhoff’s Bo-Katan, the darling of The Mandalorian season 3, is nowhere to be seen (so it’s not all bad, I guess). Mandalore isn’t mentioned.
The Mandalorian and Grogu exists in its own bubble. The only thing that positions it after season 3 in the timeline is the new Razor Crest.
Arrested Development
It’s like we’re caught in a time lock. Nothing advances. The characters are in the exact same place at the end of the movie as they were at the beginning.
Grogu looks and acts the same as season 1. He’s still eating everything in sight, pushing buttons he shouldn’t be pushing and babbling like a baby. I thought I saw him talk in one of the trailers, but it doesn’t happen in the movie.
Disney are so stuck on their cute mascot that they can’t let him evolve, even when the story needs him to. As a result, he’s mostly pointless when the story should be revolving around him.
Disney built up Grogu as a key character in the Star Wars Universe; a new Yoda, essential to Luke Skywalker’s attempts to re-establish the Jedi. Now he’s a cutesy sidekick essential to Disney’s attempts to sell more merchandise.
Why isn’t Grogu or Mando around during the sequel trilogy? It’s a question The Mandalorian and Grogu should have been bold enough to answer (kill them!), but it wasn’t. Either Disney have abandoned trying to answer it, or they are optimistically expecting a sequel or a fourth season.
We need to get back to the days when movies threw everything they had at the screen because sequels weren’t guaranteed.
The Mandalorian and Grogu makes only passing references to the broader Star Wars Universe and the New Republic’s struggle to tackle the remnants of the Empire. Now THAT would make a good villain-of-the week show.
There’s no world building, no cameos from established characters. Sigourney Weaver’s bland Colonel Ward represents the New Republic as the head of what Wrenage hilariously described as Space Mossad. Accurate.
The Empire’s most wanted war criminals are printed on playing cards like the Iraq war. It feels too close to our reality, especially when Mando mentions that one card is the ace of spades. Do they have the same suits in space cards?
Checkmate
It doesn’t help that The Mandalorian and Grogu skews young, with four comedy Babu Friks accompanying the Mogwai rip-off that is the alien formerly known as Baby Yoda (TAFKABY). You can never sell enough plush toys.
Jabba the Hutt’s son speaks English and sounds like a guy from Brooklyn, probably because he’s voiced by a guy from Brooklyn. He’s tough but sensitive, with major daddy issues. It’s just fucking weird.
I’ll give them credit for one thing, and this will be a minor spoiler. Remember the hologram chess game in Star Wars? Remember the creatures that served as the playing pieces?
Well, we get to see their full-size versions fight in a gladiator colosseum scene. In case we didn’t get it, the giant bastard slams the smaller bastard and roars triumphantly in the exact same way as the chess game. I liked this call back.
But overall, The Mandalorian and Grogu is everything we thought a Disney Star Wars movie in 2026 would be. What a missed opportunity. I know that many of you are beyond caring at this point, but to me it’s still a damn shame.
Oh well, we’ll always have Endor.
