Let no man who hath torn his underpants asunder live without sin, for what is man without sin, and underpants? Certainly not an Outposter, for the veritable stench of your sin clings forever to our internet home, like a teenage boy’s bedroom after his parents have been at work all day.
I haven’t been availed of malodorous sin like this since I was
in prison in Lao for exporting hardcore snuff movies undertaking important missionary work among the less fortunate of Southeast Asia. So once again it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend, to open the windows of confession and air this place out.
The Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth is open, spread wide, gaping, and ready to receive a load of your confession. The Goddess Gal Gadot awakens and prepares to feast on your cinematic sins once more. I don’t know about you, but from where I am sitting she looks pretty happy about it.
Filthy sinner, now is the time to unburden yourself. Release. Let fly. Cleanse your soul of these deep and dark cinematic sins. Today the Goddess deigns to feast upon your inability to finish. To conclude. Your lack of being able to complete. To arrive… at the destination of the end of the movie. The subject for today’s confession is this:
What movie have you been unable to complete?
Maybe you heard good things, but it didn’t click and you switched it off. Maybe you have attempted multiple times, but you just can’t see it though. Nobody likes somebody who can’t bring things to a finish, you know? So now you must bare your soul in front of your fellow Outposters as you become prostrate for the judgment of the Goddess. Confess. CONFESS!!
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