So I finally watched The Marvels, figuring I would do a belated review, however at this point, you probably already know whether it was worth watching or not. What really fascinated me, watching this, was how it is an absolute reflection of the MCU today and it made me realize how far gone it really is. I suppose I always knew, but this demonstrates that in such stark terms.

First off, the movie isn’t terrible. It’s not great. It’s just…there. It’s much less objectionable than the first Captain Marvel, and make no mistake, this is absolutely a direct sequel to that. But in the larger scheme of the MCU, it’s all over the place, with no idea what it wants to be. There’s no compelling reason to watch it and that is reflected in its box office take.

The three Captain America movies, Iron Man movies, and even Thor movies had their own stories within the greater narrative of the MCU. People cared about these characters and their own individual journeys. There was nothing compelling about Captain Marvel. She was off-putting. Her story came across as a big victimhood story instead of someone overcoming adversity. Yet it took in over a billion dollars at the box office? This? It could barely muster ten percent of that. So what gives? How did a movie that is arguably less bad than the first one do so very poorly? Because no one cared about her in the first place, she was unlikable, and I’m not just talking about Brie Larson.


Yeah throw Beast from X-Men out there! Anything to get someone to care again! PLEASE CARE AGAIN!


This is where the brand suicide of the MCU is telling. When Captain Marvel came out, it was sandwiched between Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. Plus Infinity War decided to put in a spectacularly effective mid-credits scene making it seem as Captain Marvel was required viewing in a decade-long story that had captured audiences’ imaginations.

We’re now five years after Endgame. People who have let all hype recede and remember the MCU  fondly can barely tell you anything about that movie. What’s worse, Marvel has given them zero reason to be compelled by the ongoing story, and no one has a clue what it is. Is it time travel? Is it Wanda going bad? Kang? Multiverses? No one knows, especially Disney.

So now they just churn out product that is trying to wear the skin of past glories of characters long since gone, just cashing a paycheck. Too many streaming series, movie sequels far too apart from their originals with no real compelling stories of their own… this is the cinematic version of “flailing.”

The Marvels isn’t just a lousy, boring, inoffensive cash grab struggling to keep the corpse of the MCU alive. It’s the death rattle. It even reboots end credits scenes. I’m not kidding. I’m somewhat heartened and hopeful about humanity right now. They turned their back on this mess, and the entire MCU.

You were great in your day MCU, but it is done. Yes I know, creatively you were done at Endgame. But financially? This is the audience pulling the plug and letting you drift off into oblivion. You deserved better but you’re being run by talentless, arrogant emotionally incontinent children now who write their screenplays from their therapist’s couches. There is no saving you anymore.

Disney, let the thing rest in peace. But they won’t. They will continue to:

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