We have spent far too long on the wrong side of the tracks in Butthole Town. Yancy’s Bangkok Style Go-Go Bar was fun, but it got a bit out of hand.

Things were said. Vast quantities of counterfeit spirits were consumed, and served by engorged ladyboys. Kitty Bumps may never get his sight back, and Colby’s Mom still hasn’t been seen since the Donkey Show ended.

So it is with perhaps a sense of relief that we thread our way back across town.

Back past the still-closed-down Quarlo’s Steel Mill and the always-deserted Secret Dojo, hang a left and go through the upscale neighborhood of Taint Heights to the Butthole Business Park. Here we will find Walker’s International Adoption Centre and Texas AIDS Clinic.


Where else can you take your iron pills intravenously while perusing the catalog of Walker’s finest international offspring, ready to take home for all your parenting needs?

Don’t worry if you can’t find one you like, just check back in a few months and they will have more stock.

Gentlemen, beloved shitposters, the board is flipped and maybe, just maybe, we can save Bourgeoisie Scum’s phone.

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