Kumail Nanjiani Had ETERNALS Trauma

Kumail Nanjiani? Who’s that? Well, he’s the Pakistani-American dude who was in Marvel’s Eternals and Disney’s Obi-Wan series. You know, he’s the dude with a nose shaped like a tramp’s shoe.

Anyway, I couldn’t give two runny shits about Nanjiani, that is until he acts like a snowflake and gives us normal people another reason to point and laugh at everyone involved in Hollywood. You see, poor little Nanji has just revealed that after Eternals flopped, he needed counseling. Poor baby.




Counting Their Chickens

Appearing on Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor from Smallville and the voice of The Flash from the DC animated shows), Lil’ Nanji showed his delicate side and opened up about the mental toll of earning $3m for the role of Kingo in Eternals, the film that was the beginning of the downfall of Marvel.

Marvel counted their chickens by lifting the embargo and Nanjiani and his costars “suffered” because of it. Even though the reviews were bad and even the shills couldn’t pretend otherwise, these poor little darlings still had to do press tours across the world. I can only imagine the trauma of staying in 5-star resorts and being treated like a God whilst people online were saying hurty words.




Nanjiani whines on:

“The reviews were bad, and I was too aware of it. I was reading every review and checking too much. It was really, really hard because Marvel thought that movie was going to be really, really well reviewed, so they lifted the embargo early and put it in some fancy movie festivals and they sent us on a big global tour to promote the movie right as the embargo lifted.


“I think there was some weird soup in the atmosphere for why that movie got slammed so much, and I think not much of it has to do with the actual quality of the movie.”

That last sentence is very telling and typical for a celebrity completely out of touch with reality – “Not much of it has to do with the actual quality of the movie.” – Even though he doesn’t say it, we know he’s alluding to it. Eternals had a diverse cast, it had a deaf chick, and of course a gay black dude with a husband. it doesn’t take a genius to see who Nanjiani is trying to blame for the Eternals‘ failure.




Muh Mental Health

Nanjiani isn’t finished there though. He speaks about how unfair it all was, bless him.

It was really hard, and that was when I thought it was unfair to me and unfair to [my wife] Emily, and I can’t approach my work this way anymore. Some shit has to change, so I started counseling. I still talk to my therapist about that.


Emily says that I do have trauma from it. We actually just got dinner with somebody else from that movie and we were like, ‘That was tough, wasn’t it?’ and he’s like ‘Yeah, that was really tough,’ and I think we all went through something similar.”




Now, before any of you say I am making fun of mental health, trust me, I’m the last person who mocks people with genuine problems. However, if you are being paid millions of dollars for dressing up in fancy costumes and playing make-believe in front of a green screen, and then you claim the negative reviews are causing you trauma, then you can fuck off my egotistical narcissist friend.

These people make me sick. Rant. Over.


Fuck Off


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