Chris Nolan

Nolan’s Peloton Coach Hates TENET

Yeah, it’s a slow news day and I’m up against some ridiculous deadlines so early in the new year, so cut me some slack you bastards!

Poor old Chris was enjoying a Peloton class when the instructor, (who didn’t know he was participating) started to slag off Tenet! Let’s be honest, she’s not alone.

Nolan was recently awarded Best Director at this year’s New York Film Critics Circle for Oppenheimer, and he used his acceptance speech to talk about his appreciation for film criticism.

He explained that the rise of social media and other outlets has turned every casual moviegoer into a critic with a platform to express his or her opinion. I have no idea what he’s talking about!

“Directors have a complex emotional relationship with critics and criticism. A question we’re always asked is: Do we read reviews? Let’s start with the fact that I’m British. A typical family gathering will involve relatives saying to me, ‘You know, Christopher. You probably shouldn’t open The Guardian today.’”

The Guardian? You read The Guardian, Nolan?! You have lost some serious credibility points right there my man.


“What did she just fucking say?!”


Anyway, Chris told a story about how he was once in a Peloton workout class only to have the instructor start ripping into Tenet.

“I was on my Peloton. I’m dying. And the instructor started talking about one of my films and said, ‘Did anyone see this? That’s a couple hours of my life I’ll never get back again!’”.


“When Rex Reed takes a shit on your film he doesn’t ask you to work out! In today’s world, where opinions are everywhere, there is a sort of idea that film criticism is being democratized, but I for one think the critical appreciation of films shouldn’t be an instinct but it should be a profession.”


As expected, some internet sleuth has tracked down the actual clip of the instructor:


One Is Not Concerned

With the typical stiff upper lip of a fine Englishman like my good self, Mr Nolan Esq. took the criticism with good grace.

“In today’s world, as filmmakers you can’t hide behind authorial intent. You can’t say, ‘This is what I intended.’ We live in a world where the person receiving the story has the right to say what it means to them. I for one love that. It means the work should speak for itself.


It’s not about what I say it is. It’s about what you receive it to be. In that world, the role of the professional critic, or the interpreter and the person who tries to give context for the reader…it’s incredibly important. I’ve never been so grateful for careful, considered and thoughtful writing about one of my films as I was for Oppenheimer.


“So, there I am, sweating my bollocks off, and all of a sudden…”

Peddle Back!

The instructor, Jenn Sherman has now posted a response to Nolan’s speech, and doing a little arse-kissing (or bum-licking as we say here in the UK). Jen voices her awe and appreciation that the director takes her classes, and credit to her because she doesn’t backtrack on her views of Tenet.

Jenn simply says Oppenheimer was great and asks if Chris wants to join her on set for the next workout. That’s about as likely as the full Epstein List being revealed to us plebs, but hey, a girl has got to try and increase those likes and shares!



In a world fascinated by celebrity gossip, I expect Jen’s star to rocket and for her to appear on a shit load of TV shows and new segments throughout the week, and good luck to her.

Now, I’m heading out to buy a Peloton and slag off James Gunn, Vin Diesel, The Rock, Mark Ruffalo, Kathleen Kennedy, Mark Hamill… I’ll be back in 2025.


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