I wasn’t planning on reviewing this week’s Ahsoka as I thought it was a waste of bandwidth but, after watching it, I had to write it up because I’m angry.

As you know, my review of episodes 1 and 2 of Ahsoka was a little damning. I didn’t like the show, it was boring, badly written and the characters are just dull. Unless of course, you blindly support female empowerment, then they are stunning and brave.

There are mild spoilers ahead, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. Episode 3 is dull as dishwater.

The Force is Female

Sabine is now on her way to becoming a Jedi, I imagine a better Jedi than Luke, Obi-Wan, and every other male Jedi ever. There is an opening scene where she is sparing with Huyang the robot. Sabine has her new haircut and is dressing in training gear, which is hot, but not sexy since we can’t sexualise any of the cast members.

Hot, but not too hot

Hot, but not too hot


There is then a scene where Ahsoka gives Sabine a helmet with the blast shield down. With the shield down, how is she supposed to fight? I have seen some people saying this “rhythmic, it follows”, a little like George Lucas once said. Personally, I didn’t see it as a homage. I saw it as simply a direct copy of the original Star Wars, when Ben taught Luke on the Falcon.

The good thing is that I imagine a lot of the Disney Star Wars fans haven’t seen the original trilogy, so they thought this was great. It wasn’t great, it was just a ‘memberberries copy. I honestly couldn’t believe this was “written” into the show.

Ahsoka then tries to teach Sabine about the Force and she moves a cup. Sabine tries and fails, but I’m sure she’ll get it soon, I mean, girls don’t need training in Star Wars.

Hera has a meeting with the Grand Council about the new ship/weapon that Morgan is trying to build. Mon Mothma is there so, yay! Girl power. Again, I have seen people saying how great Mothma is and one of the bestest Star Wars characters ever committed to the screen.

But I Haven’t Seen That…

Anyway, one of the council thinks that Hera is only looking for Ezra, not actually looking for Thrawn. She shows him up, because, woman. Again, this would be interesting if you had seen all four seasons of Star Wars Rebels. I had not seen them, so I didn’t care.

Back with Ahsoka and Sabine, and they have tracked down the new ship/weapon that Morgan is making. They are attacked by Emo Sith Girl and it turns into something stupid. The robot needs to scan the ship, they get really close, and somehow the droid is knocked out, I still have no idea how.

They then get into a ship fight that was exactly the same fight from Star Wars, when the Falcon leaves the Death Star, right down to getting in a gunning position to putting on a wired headset. There was even an ‘I got one!’ line from Sabine. This was also a “homage” and not simply stealing.

The ship gets disabled and so, while Sabine is fixing the ship, Ahsoka goes outside on the wing and deflects blaster fire from an attacking ship. I have honestly never rolled my eyes so much before. It was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen in anything labelled as Star Wars and I include the Holiday Special and Caravan of Courage in that.

No one ever really talks about the gravity on the ships in Star Wars, it is not really important as it is not Star Trek. but how Ahsoka could do a back flip, cut off another ship’s wing and then land back on the wing of her own ship was just nonsensical dog shit! It is so bad, it isn’t even laughable.


They see some space whale which has something to do with Ezra, but again, I don’t know. I have seen people say the whales were the best part of the show. Really? The best part of the show was space whales? To be fair, they aren’t wrong.

They land on the surface, Emo Sith Girl gives up so Ray Steveson sends out guys to find them, but I’m sure they will all be OK. Oh, and the robot wakes up after all the action.


OK, so we all know I’m a miserable sod, but honestly, this show is the same level as the rest of Disney Star Wars…in the gutter. It’s badly written, parts go on far too long with nothing happening, none of the characters are interesting unless you have seen every other animated show made by Disney, and it’s now just ripping-off the original trilogy hunger the guise of homage.

People once held out hope that Dave Filoni was going to save Star Wars. Not anymore he’s not. He may have sold his soul to the giant mouse. I don’t see this series getting any better. I’m now only watching it to make sure it stops breathing and is finally dead.

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