Boba Phil caught the latest attempt to adapt Salem’s Lot for the screen, and he didn’t like it very much. Now it is time for a second opinion as long, long, long, long, long (that long? Yes, that long!) time Outposter Andy Dufresne chimes in. So what did he think of it?
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Salem’s Lot (2024)
I loved Stephen King back in the day. I would devour everything he put out when I was a teenager. Started with Carrie, Cujo, Night Shift, Firestarter, The Stand, all his standard output. When I discovered Salem’s Lot, I read it in a few days.
Couldn’t put it down and I just recently bought a new copy to read again, it’s still that good, his best work in my opinion.
Then the TV movie was announced. David Soul. James Mason. Fighting each other for the soul of a supernatural town. Watching little Ralphie Glick float to the window that first time to take his brother. Mike Ryerson jumping into the grave and Danny rising up to snarl before lunging into Mike’s neck. Watching Danny float to Mark Petrie’s window in an attempt to take his friend.
When Mark puts the cross against the window to shun Danny and the tear rolls down his cheek, man, brilliant. Mike Ryerson sitting in Matt Burke’s house in the chair in the dark corner. Marjorie Glick rising in the morgue, slowly in the background as Ben tapes a few tongue depressors together while praying, her blurry figure making me wonder if I would be filling my shorts in that situation.
Having Barlow be more monster than man didn’t bother me, it was different and oh so fucking terrifying. James Mason telling Father Callahan:
“Back shaman, back priest!”
It was powerful stuff from an acting legend!
Overall, the TV miniseries directed by Tobe Hooper did the trick. It followed the book pretty closely with some minor changes that fit the story. I won’t talk about the 2004 Rob Lowe fiasco, but it did have many better qualities than this more modern travesty. It is still worth checking out.
The 2024 version of Salem’s Lot? Not so much. I was so hyped to see it when I saw the first trailer to the tune of Gordon Lightfoot’s Sundown. Hopefully optimistic, as we always say.
It bummed me out. This should have been an HBO or Netflix 6-8 episode miniseries. They rushed everything as they were always apt to do in these situations. If they took every King novel and did that, they’d have a money-making machine. This version didn’t give it the time to flesh out the characters, said absolutely nothing about the Marston House, the whole reason Ben came back to town, he was working on a book about it.
It’s like they just said:
“Everyone knows the story, let just get to the vampires!”
How quickly they all believe – “Oh shit, it’s vampires!” – and start trying to kill them all, with no sense of disbelief or questioning. Even in the Rob Lowe remake they at least showed people leaving the town and others wondering why everyone was dying.
The cast was so wooden, they could have used them as the stakes. Alfre Woodard was the only one who questions anything.
They left out key things like Ralphie visiting Danny, which I kind of understand, why do two window scenes, and Larry Crockett having his affair and then getting snatched. In fairness that didn’t really need to be in this version, but then why introduce him at the realty office if you aren’t going to go anywhere with it?
I got a little excited when Barlow actually spoke, but he wasn’t really any different from the Reggie Nalder version.
When I saw the note on the kitchen table, I was like, “Fuck yeah, they did the Barlow note from the novel!!!”… no, it was a note from Mark that they didn’t even show what he wrote (sigh).
I feel like there’s probably a lot more they filmed. If you go to the IMDb listing there are a lot of characters that weren’t in this finished article such as Hubie Marston and young Ben Mears, so I’m pretty confident that’s the case. Even the original TV series was a 2-night event, dammit!
I should just become a screenwriter and do it myself. I would love to see The Tommyknockers as a full-season series. They could really do some grotesque shit with that one.
As for Salem’s Lot – 1/5 rabies shots
