Whilst compiling this list, I realised that 2023 was a diabolical year of movies and I’ve had to scrape the barrel to make 10. I’ll keep it brief so let’s get to it.

10. Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny

I told you I scraped a barrel. I didn’t mind the fifth (and second unnecessary) Indiana Jones movie but I think that was down to the fact that I was expecting so much worse. 

After all the rumours surrounding this film, most have come to light to have been proven right, Indy 5 was more of a sigh of relief than anything else. You should have just carried on heading for that sunset Indy. 

 

Indiana Jones 5

 

9. Elemental

The latest offering from the once-great Pixar, Elemental was a slight throwback to their past glories and a refreshing change to see them trying something new again rather than another sequel. It’s not anywhere near the dizzying heights that Pixar achieved with Toy Story, Monsters Inc. etc, but it was a charming movie that both adults and children can enjoy. 

 

Elemental

8. 65

Barrel! Scraping! Give me a break already!

Humans from another planet crash land on prehistoric Earth. We’ve got Kylo Ren using space tech and fighting dinosaurs. It’s escapism and popcorn and I would rather have watched this than John Wick: Chapter Copy Paste, or Fast And Furious: Fambly Go Vroom Vroom

 

65

7. Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning

Not the best Mission Impossible movie and probably the weakest since MI:2 but it’s Tom Cruise being Tim Cruisey. You know what you signed up for and you get your money’s worth, so there are no complaints from me. Also, Hayley Atwell and her magnificent breasts squeezed into a tight shirt… this should be number 1… what am I thinking?

 

Mission Impossible

 

6. The Killer

A typical Fincher movie but sadly a far cry from his glory days. Regardless, it’s as slick and stylish as you would expect from Fincher but it never really got out of second gear. 

The Killer Poster

 

5. Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie

This is a documentary on Apple TV about Michael J. Fox and the synopsis sums it up better than I can:

Still follows the life of beloved actor and advocate Michael J. Fox, exploring his personal and professional triumphs and travails, and what happens when an incurable optimist confronts an incurable disease.

Still is chock full of archive behind-the-scenes footage, interviews, and an all-around reminder of Michael J. Fox’s mesmerizing rise to stardom. All this is combined with up-to-date interviews where we see Fox and his family speak very openly and candidly about where they all are today.

This documentary was as heartbreaking as it was inspirational and I highly recommend it.

Still

 

4. No One Will Save You

I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed this. An alien abduction movie that earns extra points for actually trying to do something different. You can read my review here if you want a more detailed breakdown, but it’s certainly worth checking out.

 

No One WIll Save You Poster

 

3. Spider-Man Miles Morales: Across The Spider-Verse

I finally managed to catch this movie during the Christmas break and it was great! Stunning to look at and is refreshingly unique in its style and I cannot wait for the second part. Bravo to all those involved.

 

Spider-Man

 

2. Oppenheimer

Not at number 1 like a lot of people’s Top 10s. This was a great film (review here) but strangely not one I have revisited since its release back in July even though I’ve had time – weird. Anyway, I’ll be honest and say that once I do, I think this and my number 1 might swap places. We shall see.

 

Oppenheimer

 

1. Maestro

This film is still fresh in my brain having only seen it a couple of days ago (review here) which may have influenced my decision to put it above Oppenheimer. Even so, I genuinely can’t stop thinking about how much I enjoy it, and even tried tempting my wife to watch it last night but she had already had three glasses of wine and I could tell she would be asleep within minutes. I ended up watching the darts instead… ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTYYYYYYY!

 

Maestro

 

No love from me for Killers Of The Flower Moon, The Creator, GOTG 3, or even something as groundbreaking as… Barbie. I genuinely can’t even be bothered with any capeshit like Ant-Man 3, Shazam 2, Aquadude 2, Blue Beetle or The Marvels.

I’m yet to see Godzilla Minus One and I’ve heard nothing but great things about it. I also need to check out The Sound Of Freedom. Both of which I would expect to make this list.

There you have it Outposters. I think this list pretty much sums up Hollywood in 2023 – it was a chore. Here’s to 2024, I’m sure movies are going to get so much better…

Drink Cry

 

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