As the time has come to say farewell to Ray’s Historical Scenic Train Ride, his hearty peep on the whistle drowns out the screams. We now head back to the center of town with a problem.
What do you do when your dong is just too damn noticeable? A common problem if you are a tear duct-less Alpha, particularly if you have been perusing the wares at the Butthole Town Adult Store.
A lifetime of leotard-free misery awaits. Embarrassment stops you from ever doing the backstroke in the local swimming pool. That time you did yard work in your Speedo and the police were called? The shame.
There may be no answer to the girthiness of your pant department in reality, but at least in the world of media, it can be smoothed out. Literally. Do not fear. Your salvation is just next door.
You too can be as smooth as a naked GI Joe, with no shame down there except your trademark, with a visit to Theragen’s Derivative’s VFX Studio (Dong Smoothing A Speciality).
With his digital jiggery-pokery, your embarrassing manliness will be electronically shaved until the studio stops sending fucking stupid notes about your cock.
A lifetime of skinny jeans and lycra cycling shorts awaits, along with embarrassing questions and (possibly) memes.
It’s 2024. Everyone is having it chopped off, so don’t miss out. Lose that Hampton the Theragen way today.