The second most insufferable night of the year, just behind the Met Gala, is finally over – The Oscars.
This year, nobody got slapped so the proceedings were as dull as ever. Now, as the champagne glasses are put into the dishwasher, the last line of cocaine is snorted, and the last dead hookers body is tossed into Laurel Canyon, we see who the big winners were.
Conan O’Brien did OK with the kind of low-risk and completely anodyne content that the Academy insists upon, so as not to offend the delicate flowers of Hollywood.
For the awards themselves, Anora dominating with five wins including Best Picture, Actress, Director, Original Screenplay and Editing.
The Brutalist scored three wins for Actor, Cinematography and Score.
Emilia Pérez overcame based Tranny “betrayal” to win two for supporting actress (Zoe Saldana) and song.
Wicked won two for costume and production design, and Dune: Part Two won two for sound and VFX.
Here’s the full list of winners, copied and pasted from the official site, as I am f*cked if I am typing all of that out:
Best Picture
WINNER”: “Anora”
“The Brutalist”
“A Complete Unknown”
“Conclave”
“Dune: Part Two”
“Emilia Perez”
“I’m Still Here”
“Nickel Boys”
“The Substance”
“Wicked”
Best Director
WINNER”: Sean Baker, “Anora”
Jacques Audiard, “Emilia Perez”
Brady Corbet, “The Brutalist”
Coralie Fargaet, “The Substance”
James Mangold, “A Complete Unknown”
Best Actor
WINNER: Adrien Brody, “The Brutalist”
Timothée Chalamet, “A Complete Unknown”
Colman Domingo, “Sing Sing”
Ralph Fiennes, “Conclave”
Sebastian Stan, “The Apprentice”
Best Actress
WINNER: Mikey Madison, “Anora”
Cynthia Erivo, “Wicked”
Karla Sofia Gascón, “Emilia Perez”
Demi Moore, “The Substance”
Fernanda Torres, “I’m Still Here”
Best Supporting Actress
WINNER: Zoe Saldaña, “Emilia Pérez”
Monica Barbaro, “A Complete Unknown”
Ariana Grande, “Wicked”
Felicity Jones, “The Brutalist”
Isabella Rossellini, “Conclave”
Best Supporting Actor
WINNER: Kieran Culkin, “A Real Pain”
Yura Borisov, “Anora”
Edward Norton, “A Complete Unknown”
Guy Pearce, “The Brutalist”
Jeremy Strong, “The Apprentice”
Best Animated Feature
WINNER: “Flow”
“Inside Out 2”
“Memoir of a Snail”
“Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl”
“The Wild Robot”
Best International Feature
WINNER: “I’m Still Here”
“Emilia Perez”
“Flow”
“The Girl With the Needle
“The Seed of the Sacred Fig”
Best Documentary Feature
WINNER: “No Other Land”
“Black Box Diaries”
“Porcelain War”
“Soundtrack to a Coup d’Etat”
“Sugarcane”
Best Adapted Screenplay
WINNER: “Conclave,” Peter Straughan
“A Complete Unknown,” James Mangold and Jay Cocks
“Emilia Pérez,” Jacques Audiard
“Nickel Boys,” RaMell Ross and Joslyn Ross
“Sing Sing,” Greg Kwedar and Clint Bentley
Best Original Screenplay
WINNER: “Anora,” Sean Baker
“The Brutalist,” Brady Corbet and Mona Fastvold
“A Real Pain,” Jesse Eisenberg
“September 5,” Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum, and Alex David
“The Substance,” Coralie Fargeat
Best Cinematography
WINNER: “The Brutalist”
“Dune: Part Two”
“Emilia Perez”
“Maria”
“Nosferatu”
Best Film Editing
WINNER: “Anora”
“The Brutalist”
“Conclave”
“Emilia Pérez”
“Wicked”
Best Production Design
WINNER: “Wicked”
“The Brutalist”
“Conclave”
“Dune: Part Two”
“Nosferatu”
Best Score
WINNER: “The Brutalist”
“Conclave”
“Emilia Perez”
“Wicked”
“The Wild Robot”
Best Song
WINNER: “El Mal” from “Emilia Pérez”
“The Journey” from “The Six Triple Eight”
“Like A Bird” from “Sing Sing”
“Mi Camino” from “Emilia Pérez”
“Never Too Late” from “Elton John: Never Too Late”
Best Makeup and Hairstyling
WINNER: “The Substance”
“A Different Man”
“Emilia Pérez”
“Nosferatu”
“Wicked””
Best Costume Design
WINNER: “Wicked”
“A Complete Unknown”
“Conclave”
“Gladiator 2”
“Nosferatu”
Best Visual Effects
WINNER: “Dune: Part Two”
“Alien: Romulus”
“Better Man”
“Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes”
“Wicked”
Best Sound
WINNER: “Dune: Part Two”
“A Complete Unknown”
“Emilia Pérez”
“Wicked”
“The Wild Robot”
Best Animated Short Film
WINNER: “In the Shadow of the Cypress”
“Beautiful Men”
“Magic Candies”
“Wander to Wonder”
“Yuck!”
Best Documentary Short Film
WINNER: “The Only Girl in the Orchestra”
“Death By Numbers”
“I Am Ready, Warden”
“Incident”
“Instruments of a Beating Heart”
Best Live-Action Short Film
WINNER: “I’m Not A Robot”
“A Lien”
“Anuja”
“The Last Ranger”
“The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent”