‘Tis the Sabbath, and the only place you should be congregating is at the church of the Last Movie Outpost for confession. Everyone here is a dirty sinner, I know that you read the title of this as ‘doggy’ because of your filthy minds!
So, open up about your confessions, dear brethren, so that we can be wiped clean. The same way your keyboard would need to be wiped clean after 5 minutes of looking at the Goddess Gadot.
For the confession this week, we need to go back in time. If you were anything like me, standing in a video store, you would be looking for something to watch. You might have been with your parents and happily looking at the Family section.
However, you know what you wanted to watch. That video that was 18-rated (in the UK, or R across the pond), the one with the man swinging a chainsaw on it. You would pick up the empty VHS box of Commando or The Terminator and wonder how many killings there are in it.
For your confession this week:
What was the first dodgy movie you watched when you were way too young?
Did you have a friend’s older brother rent The Exorcist for you? Did you know a video store where they let 12-year-olds rent Naked Lunch? Although I think of two things wrong with that title.
I did have a VHS copy of Clockwork Orange at home. This was dodgy for two reasons: one, it was banned in the UK on VHS. And secondly, it was a friend who had copied it from a US import Laserdisc. I was a rebel without a clue.
So, dear brothers, come to confession and be cleansed.
