That’s the festivities over for another year… or is it? What if we could go to a place where every night is a fiesta?
Well, nestled on the outskirts of Butthole Town is a special place, where your maracas never stop clacking, and your salsa is always fresh.
RANCHO DE RATHTAREZ
Wind your way from the highway, up the driveway, admire the perfectly tended lawns, and pass the turkey paddocks, where you may be able to pick out a juicy bird that you will be sampling, deep-fried, just a little later. Then you find it…
Butthole Town’s premiere Mexican eatery and entertainment palace.
Rancho de Rathtarez is run by his family, for your family. Every generation plays its part, from the toddler waiters and busboys to the larger than life brother in law on the door.
Even old man Rathtars himself is still there, in the kitchen, deep-frying those turkeys just as fast as you can order them. He’s got a big heart, and an even bigger family whose pleasure it is to serve you.
It’s not just about the food. It’s about the family entertainment. Test your aim at Tio Ramon’s Shooting Gallery. Hit a bullseye to make the Mexican cry.
Or put the pedal to the metal, like you are running from an ICE agent at Go-Go Gomez’s Kart Korral.
If the pace gets too much, you could simply send the kids to explore Captain Squidd’s Cave of Hoarding, where they may find a trinket, treasure, or even a clue to his whereabouts.
Whatever you do, don’t miss the star attraction. Showtimes are reposted at the door and on the website for the spectacular diving show by the Rio Grande Wetbacks, the borderlands’ top bridge jumpers who recreate their daring exploits three times a night, with an extra show on Sundays.
So come on down to Rancho de Rathtarez for tacos so good they can take a punch, tequila strong enough to text your ex, and live music loud enough to hide your bad decisions.
