It’s been a while, huh Outposters? Well, as we emerge, blinking into the sun, after all the effort to get back up and running again, it felt like time to once more let the halls of the Outpost ring with the sound of debate.
While you unexpectedly found yourselves with some free time on your hands caused by our absence, you may have chosen to fill that time with movie watching.
We did… and we noticed a few things. There is a lot of creative energy and vision out there. Sometimes, though, the creative side of things just goes a bit awry and at this point, pretentiousness bleeds through.
What do we mean by pretentiousness?
Well, take Anatomy of Hell (2004). It stars Pornstar Rocco Siffredi and a brunette woman. They have long philosophical discussions about misogyny and existentialism while having half-hearted sex, because his character is gay. This is intercut with shots of dying baby birds. This is a real movie. We are not making this up.
Cinematic pretentiousness is always rife for mockery.
But what is the most pretentious of the pretentious? We can get on board with the idea of a Director’s Cut, especially when a studio has butchered the original cut. But SEVEN different versions? Nobody needs that much, even if it is Blade Runner. Just give up, Ridley!
Or trying to make a Lord Of The Rings-style epic about superheroes with a truly epic scope and a four-hour run time… then presenting it in 4:3 format, just because. This is, as they say in Britain, a load of old bollocks.
Surely the most pretentious of the pretentious is the black and white special edition? Usually called something full of absolute cringe like the “Blood & Chrome” edition.
What is worse, the director who thinks this is something they should put out, or the gullible neckbeard, sitting at home nursing a semi over the experience they have convinced themselves they are having simply because the color has been removed?
Over to you, Outposters. What is the very height of movie-related pretentiousness, when disappearing up inside themselves makes Hollywood commit crimes against cinema, and taste? The great debate is on!
