I had to look up if we had covered the new Smurf movie, and we haven’t. I can’t think why, as it looks like a staple of the Last Movie Outpost diet of movies. It’s good to get up-to-date pop culture movies, and the Smurfs is right up to date.
I’m trying to be as nice as I can, but the last Smurf movie, which I never saw, was in 2017. Have they gained any more popularity since then?
This new Smurf movie stars Rihanna, James Corden, Nick Offerman, JP Karliak, Dan Levy, Amy Sedaris, Sandra Oh, Jimmy Kimmel, Octavia Spence, Nick Kroll, Hannah Waddingham, Alex Winter, Billie Lourd, John Good man and Kurt Russell. Chris Miller directs, and Pam Brady and Peyo are the writers. The story is:
When Papa Smurf is taken by evil wizards Razamel and Gargamel, Smurfette leads the Smurfs on a mission to the real world to save him.
Of course she does! I thought all the Smurfs were men; if that’s the case, she has to lead the mission. Hang on, if Smurfette is the only woman, then how are more Smurfs made? I’m surprised she can walk.
Ryland is the guy in the press photo. He’s a reality star who got famous for crying when he got through on X Factor, or Britain’s Got Talent, or some other talent show. He’s now a presenter in the UK and popular with people who dress like the Kardashians. I’m holding back here on what I really think of him, but I would say he’s The Last Jedi of human beings.
I think some other British people are involved as well. I’m sure I saw comedian John Richardson somewhere. The press for this is really weird. I think I saw Richardson on Instagram, but I’m not sure.
The Smurfs at St Andrews
There was also a photo opportunity at St Andrews, one of the most famous golf courses in the world. I have played there and got a birdie…on my PlayStation.
Rachel Riely was the only person I knew from the press photos. In the UK, she’s a walking calculator.
I can’t imagine any of the people who can afford to be a member at St Andrews are all that interested in the Smurfs.
There is no budget yet for the new Smurf movie, but with the cast, painting trains and playing golf, I’m guessing it was a lot. I don’t think I saw the last movie, not sure I’ll be watching this one. Here is a trailer, be warned, there is a trailer to the trailer, and it’s all new music from Rihanna.
Smurfs is out in cinemas on the 18th of July.
