Jolie Vs. Vikander

Hiya Outposters, it’s time for a new Vs! With the recent news of a new video game adaptation in the form of Legend Of Zelda coming to the real world, I thought we’d exploit the moment and have a face-off between arguably the hottest piece of pixelated arse to ever grace our consoles – Lara Croft!

Back in 2001, we got Angelina Jolie in her prime, launching herself across the screen, uncovering artifacts, and showing off her guns and various other eye-watering assets. Fast forward to 2018 and it was Alicia Vikander’s turn. They’d replaced Lara’s guns with arrows and her ample breasts with a tighter, toned physique and an…

Obviously, it’s all up to personal tastes, are you a tits man, or a legs and arse kind of guy? Do you like the tattooed and sultry look of Jolie who looks like she can ride your brains out before going out to the local bar, get into a bar fight before she drinks you under the table?

Or perhaps you prefer the more wholesome type like Sweden’s Vikander, who before she makes sweet, sweet love to you, she’d be happy to cook you a slap-up mean whilst you quickly popped to the pub with your pals for a few cheeky pints?

The only caveat for this Tale Of The Tape is the body stats and age are Jolie in 2001, not the skeletal remains of whatever she is these days. Here goes:

The Big Question

So let’s settle this once and for all. You’re trapped in an ancient tomb, and outside are a few dozen pygmies who are royally pissed off that you’ve entered their sacred land to steal their Golden Mud Cake Cooking Cauldron. Naturally, Lara Croft has a plan for escape, but just in case it all goes a pixellated 34DD up, she turns to you and tells you she wants to discover your hidden treasures and cup your crown jewels. Which Lara Croft twomb would you rather raid?

Make your case in the comments below and feel free to add pictures to back up your argument.