Subspecies 2: Bloodstone, combined with the other Subspecies titles, took up roughly 37 percent of the horror section shelving of video stores in the 1990s.
I never watched any of these films. They had that aura of you-are-going-to-regret-this about them. Their colors, fonts and images gave the impression of something between Beastmaster 2 and Werewolf. Yet, what if I was wrong? At long last, I will see. I’m going to dive right into this franchise with Subspecies 2: Bloodstone.
“Whoa!” the rabid Subspecies fan from the back row cries out. “You can’t just jump willy-nilly into the rich and expansive world of Subspecies. You must start at the beginning.”
To which I coolly reply, “Shut up, nerd. There’s no such thing as confusing me. The Spider-Man Clone Saga enabled me to ascend above such mortal foibles.”
Subspecies 2: Bloodstone
The movie starts with a recap of how the first movie ended. (See, I knew watching the first one would be a waste of time.) A vampire named Radu has his head put back on his body with the help of stop-motion imps and an extendible spine.
Where has this movie been all my life? I may have just found my soulmate.
Not sure about the name Radu, however. The name gives the impression that the writer made himself spaghetti, looked at the sauce jar and said, “Ragu is almost a great name for a vampire…”
Speaking of writing and vampires, I once read that the most common subject seen in unsolicited screenplays is the vampire. Shortly after I read that, a regular on a Vikings message board I frequented mentioned he was writing a screenplay.
What was it about? That’s right, vampires…
I might have laughed at this person for being such a tool, except for one uncomfortable truth. I had also written a screenplay at that point.
What was it about? That’s right, vampires…
Subspecies 2: Blood Romancing the Stone
We are now half an hour into Subspecies 2: Bloodstone. It didn’t take long for the shine to wear off. Stop-motion imps (from David Allen, no less) and extendible spines gave way to a movie mostly about walking, with a subplot of big shadows projected on buildings.
Radu walks behind his fledging vampire crush, played by Denise Duff. Duff is also great at walking. Sometimes she tries not to bite people and wakes up in a glass box of emotion. I am not being facetious about that last part either. She wakes up in a glass coffin, emotionally, a plethora of times.
In between all of this, Duff is also shown crying in a shower, naked. I can imagine how filming that scene would have went on a less classy film…
Director: Alright, let’s do the crying-in-the-shower-naked scene.
Actress: There’s no crying-in-the-shower-naked scene in the script.
Director: There is now. This is what you need to do, if you want to make it in this town.
Actress: We’re in Bucharest. I could make it in this town with five dollars and a chicken.
Director: Clothes off, toots. And someone turn down the heat. We got tits to shoot!
Did I mention there is a mummy in this movie? Vadu walks to her place a few times and talks about retrieving a Bloodstone. Duff has said Bloodstone. It is a glass stone mounted in steel claws. Periodically, it fills with blood, and Duff drinks a drop.
I don’t care about the mechanics of this. By this point in the film, my mind wanders. I wonder if they based Radu’s makeup on William Sadler and if he, perhaps, has a nuisance lawsuit on his hands. Sadler probably doesn’t have that much Harlan Ellison in him, though.
You know who does have that much Harlan Ellison in him? Harlan Ellison! Because he’s full of himself! But seriously, no one has contributed more importance to the sci-fi genre than Harlan Ellison…because of his self-importance!
But seriously, for real this time, Harlan Ellison is a wonderful person. Neil Gaiman said so…
Subspecies 2: The Blood Stone Cold
Subspecies 2: Bloodstone realizes it cannot maintain a plot of two characters walking, so it makes the wise choice to add three more characters to the mix. Duff’s sister arrives, and she enlists the help of an embassy aid and a historian to help her walk after Duff, as well.
Finally, the plot threads are coming together!
I need a break from this. Let’s talk about who made Subspecies 2: Bloodstone. The franchise is a product of Full Moon Studios and B-movie king Charles Band. Band is also responsible for the Puppet Master and Trancers franchises, which is to say, Charles Band basically took up 57 percent of the available shelving in a 1990s video store.
Other films pumped out by Full Moon Studios include Dollman, Castle Freak and Mandroid.
There have been six Subspecies films. The first happened in 1991. The last came out in 2023. Ted Nicolaou directed them all. Duff has been in three of them and parlayed her success into a stint on The Young and the Restless.
Anders Hove played Radu in four of the films. Hove is a Danish actor, and the bulk of his work is done in the Danish film industry. I have nothing but good things to say about Hove, as my grandmother was one hundred percent Danish. She even won a beauty contest once.
This is why I never considered Danish people to be particularly good looking…
The first Subspecies film was the first American movie filmed in Bucharest, Romania. I am sure it was an exciting time for the film crew, as they learned that cabbage does not have to be limited to sauerkraut. It can also be served as sarmale.
That’s where we’re at in this review, huh? I’m writing about cabbage to stall talking about Subspecies 2: Bloodstone. Okay. Let’s dig deep and finish this flick.
Subspecies 2: Blood The Sword in the Stone
Michael Denish plays the historian. He is a cross between a little person and a standard-sized person. This begs the question, following the Goldilocks principle, does that make him exactly the right height for a person? Let’s check with the ladies…
The ladies have spoken. If a man isn’t at least 6’8, he’s no kind of man. Sorry, guys. On the plus side, men have the pick of the litter because all ladies, in all shapes and sizes, are beautiful, according to women. Except the conventionally “beautiful” women, of course. They’re horrible.
Melanie Shatner portrays the sister. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, she is William Shatner’s daughter. Personally, I don’t see it. William Shatner’s daughter should look like the image below…
Okay, okay, I’m still stalling. Back to Subspecies 2: Bloodstone. All the characters eventually walk to some sort of catacomb set. Radu get stabbed multiple times, the historian gets stabbed once, the mummy gets set on fire, Duff remains a tortured vampire and Shatner remains a supportive sister.
I know I mentioned an embassy aid, too. Kevin Spirtas filled that role. Friday the 13th fans will recognize him. He appeared in Friday the 13 Part VII. As for what happened to him in this movie. I honestly don’t know. It looks like his character shows up in Subspecies 3, so they must have been saving him for that.
Subspecies 2: Blood Creek Stone
See what I did there? I referenced Blood Creek in that heading! Okay, stalling again. You got me…
I’m glad I did not rent this movie in the 1990s. I don’t think I would have finished it. On one hand, one admires the gumption of Charles Band and crew. They dared to dream, packed up for Romania and built their cinematic universe. On the other hand, Subspecies 2: Bloodstone was clearly made to fit a budget and sets rather than tell a rip-roaring tale. The entire film is walking and mugging for the camera.
Essentially, the film is “content” before “content” was a thing. The Full Moon Studios business practice seemed to be flooding the shelves of video stores with titles that would get rented when all 17 copes of Pulp Fiction were already checked out.
Honestly, Dracula: Dead and Loving It is probably the superior vampire movie of the two…
