If movies have taught us one thing, it’s that you don’t swim in the sea. If it’s not sharks, it’s orcas, like the one in Killer Whale. We had the trailer for Killer Whale featured on the site the other day, and it looked… well, bad.
Being a sucker for a bit of cheese, I had to give it a try.
The movie stars Virginia Gardner, Mel Jarnson, and Mitchell Hope, for the most part. Jo-Anne Brechin directs and writes alongside Katharine McPhee.
The Story
I will be going into spoilers in this review of Killer Whale, because some of it is hilarious! The main story:
Follows best friends Maddie and Trish as they find themselves trapped in a remote lagoon with the dangerous killer whale named Ceto.
We open in The World of Orca, an amusement park, where people make fun of orcas. It’s late one night, and we learn that the orca at the park had a child, and they took it away. I think, honestly, I wasn’t paying attention.
We then meet Maddie (Gardner), who’s working late at a dinner. Her boyfriend comes in, but then the dinner is robbed at gunpoint. Maddie is nearly shot, deafening one ear, but she’s saved by her boyfriend, but the robber gets away.
The boyfriend then gets run over.
I kid you not, his getting hit by the car is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Mrs Boba wasn’t happy about how much I laughed, but it was hilarious.
A year later, Trish (Jarnson) convinces Maddie to have a holiday in Thailand. Trish has come into some money, and they are going to have the holiday of a lifetime.
They meet Josh (Hope) and learn about the World of Orca, and the loss of the child of the killer whale.
Don’t Go In The Water
Josh takes the two girls to a hidden reef/cove, which is a perfect circle that no one knows about, just like in real life.
The reef/cove is about 3 feet deep; this fact pops up again later. While jet skiing around the reef, there’s an ‘accident’ and Josh dies. The two of them are left on an inflated ‘pizza slice’ and try to make it to a rock. For some reason, the killer whale cannot see them on the inflatable.
How? Don’t know.
The girls make it to a rock and sit there for the rest of the movie, taunted by the killer whale.
Somehow now, the reef is deep enough for the whale and not 3 feet like previously suggested. Both girls are injured, but a quick tourniquet and they are all fine.
Maddie steps on a shell, which they later eat, as revenge.
A Twist In The Tale *Spoilers*
Instead of just having two girls outwitting a killer whale, there has to be a ‘twist’. Over the period of time, the girls talk about money, including where Trish got hers from money from.
It turns out that the robbery at the start of the movie, where Maddie’s boyfriend was hilariously run over, was all planned by Trish.
This made me laugh, it made me laugh a lot! It was so stupid that this was put into the story, but then, they had to kill one of the girls off, so guess who gets it?
Trish, because of how she killed Maddie’s boyfriend.
Her death is very funny, as everyone sees it, apart from Trish.
Production Design
I said in my review of Dust Bunny that the production design in that movie was beautiful. They leaned into the over-the-top green screen, but it really worked.
In Killer Whale, there is green screen, however, this is supposed to be set in the ocean. I can honestly say that none of the girls were anywhere near the ocean.
In fact, I’m not sure they were even in a swimming pool.
The first act, in Thailand, was on location, well… a location.
I can’t say for sure if they flew them out to Thailand. The second and third acts are on a set, possibly not even any kind of pool, but just a rock, with badly CG’d water and backdrop.
The other good news is that no orcas were harmed in the making of this movie, since there were no orcas in Killer Whale.
I appreciate that filming an orca would be difficult. Locally, there is a kingfisher near me, but can I photograph the bugger? No. Trying to film a killer whale must be expensive and exhausting.
Why bother with all that when you can create a CG orca? There are a couple of shots where the orca looks real; however, there are about 200 shots of the orca, and the rest of them look fake.
The Big Question
I like to think I understand you, Outposters, and I know what question is burning away at the back of your minds. Are there any boobs?
Sadly, no, both main characters keep their clothes on and, at best, are in bikinis. At least both are easy on the eye, but that’s about it. I liked Trish in particular, as she’s a very attractive lady.
Maddie was in the movie Fall, the one with the two girls stuck at the top of the tower. This is the same thing, but in a fake ocean, and not at the top of a fake tower. A read they are doing a sequel to Fall, I’m guessing they will call it Taller Fall.
Overall
I don’t know why this review is so long, not for a movie like Killer Whale. It’s one of those movies you laugh at, not with. I found myself laughing out loud at it, even belly laughing in places.
The production is bloody awful. I couldn’t help but think that filming at sea probably would have worked out cheaper than all the crappy CG. The problem with a movie like this is that they don’t lean into it. Some cheap movies know they are cheap and have fun with it.
Killer Whale is cheap, but everyone is taking it seriously, so it really takes the edge off. The only good thing about this movie is having a drink every time something stupid happens. Liver failure, here we come.
Compairing this this with Orca (1977) with Richard Harris, they are two totally different movies. I watched Orca the other day, and had fun with it.
They knew exactly what they were making, a rip-off of Jaws, but with something bigger and badder, the whale. No one in Orca is taking it seriously no matter how serious the film tries to be; everyone is there for a pay cheque.
Killer Whale, they are there for a pay cheque, but acting almost like they might be in with a chance for an Oscar. #bless
If you are going to watch Killer Whale, it’s best to start drinking beforehand, so it makes more sense and makes it more entertaining.
I’m not going to rate it because it’s just not worth it, but you might have fun with it, laughing at it.
Killer Whale is on VoD right now.
