Ahhh, awards season. The occasional bright spot, like Ricky Gervais completely eviscerating a room full of preening Hollywood fuckwits, is usually drowned out in a sea of back-slapping self-importance and smuggery. At least things got mildly interesting when the Golden Globes put themselves in some kind of #MeToo jail and then Will Smith used the Oscars to work out some anger issues stemming from his marriage.
Now, normal service is resumed with tedious inevitability The nominations for the 81st Annual Golden Globe Awards were announced yesterday by the eclectic and dynamic presenting due of Cedric the Entertainer and Wilmer Valderrama.
In an incredible outbreak of normie-ism, Barbie was the nomination leader with top with ten nominations. This makes it the second most nominated film in the Globes history behind only Cabaret. Inseparable from Barbie as ever, Oppenheimer has eight, and Killers of the Flower Moon has seven.
There is also some TV shit going on, but I can’t be bothered to count those up. A quick glance makes it look like a good year for Succession, The Bear, and The Last Of Us.
The list is way too long to format into our house style, because we are inherently lazy here and not even getting paid. So here it is, freshly copied and pasted from the HFPA press release:
Best Motion Picture, Drama
“Oppenheimer” (Universal Pictures)
“Killers of the Flower Moon” (Apple Original Films/Paramount Pictures)
“Maestro” (Netflix)
“Past Lives” (A24)
“The Zone of Interest” (A24)
“Anatomy of a Fall” (Neon)
Best Picture, Musical or Comedy
“Barbie” (Warner Bros.)
“Poor Things” (Searchlight Pictures)
“American Fiction” (MGM)
“The Holdovers” (Focus Features)
“May December” (Netflix)
“Air” (Amazon MGM Studios)
Best Director, Motion Picture
Bradley Cooper – “Maestro”
Greta Gerwig – “Barbie”
Yorgos Lanthimos – “Poor Things”
Christopher Nolan – “Oppenheimer”
Martin Scorsese – “Killers of the Flower Moon”
Celine Song – “Past Lives”
Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
“Barbie” – Greta Gerwig, Noah Baumbach
“Poor Things” – Tony McNamara
“Oppenheimer” – Christopher Nolan
“Killers of the Flower Moon” – Eric Roth, Martin Scorsese
“Past Lives” – Celine Song
“Anatomy of a Fall” – Justine Triet, Arthur Harari
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Bradley Cooper – “Maestro”
Cillian Murphy – “Oppenheimer”
Leonardo DiCaprio – “Killers of the Flower Moon”
Colman Domingo – “Rustin”
Andrew Scott – “All of Us Strangers”
Barry Keoghan – “Saltburn”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Lily Gladstone – “Killers of the Flower Moon”
Carey Mulligan – “Maestro”
Sandra Hüller – “Anatomy of a Fall”
Annette Bening – “Nyad”
Greta Lee – “Past Lives”
Cailee Spaeny – “Priscilla”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Fantasia Barrino – “The Color Purple”
Jennifer Lawrence – “No Hard Feelings”
Natalie Portman – “May December”
Alma Pöysti – “Fallen Leaves”
Margot Robbie – “Barbie”
Emma Stone – “Poor Things”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Nicolas Cage – “Dream Scenario”
Timothée Chalamet – “Wonka”
Matt Damon – “Air”
Paul Giamatti – “The Holdovers”
Joaquin Phoenix – “Beau Is Afraid”
Jeffrey Wright – “American Fiction”
Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture
Willem Dafoe – “Poor Things”
Robert DeNiro – “Killers of the Flower Moon”
Robert Downey Jr. – “Oppenheimer”
Ryan Gosling – “Barbie”
Charles Melton – “May December”
Mark Ruffalo – “Poor Things”
Best Supporting Actress, Motion Picture
Emily Blunt – “Oppenheimer”
Danielle Brooks – “The Color Purple”
Jodie Foster – “Nyad”
Julianne Moore – “May December”
Rosamund Pike – “Saltburn”
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – “The Holdovers”
Best Television Series, Drama
“1923” (Paramount+)
“The Crown” (Netflix)
“The Diplomat” (Netflix)
“The Last of Us” (HBO)
“The Morning Show” (Apple TV+)
“Succession” (HBO)
Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy
“The Bear” (FX)
“Ted Lasso” (Apple TV+)
“Abbott Elementary” (ABC)
“Jury Duty” (Amazon Freevee)
“Only Murders in the Building” (Hulu)
“Barry” (HBO)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Pedro Pascal – “The Last of Us”
Kieran Culkin – “Succession”
Jeremy Strong – “Succession”
Brian Cox – “Succession”
Gary Oldman – “Slow Horses”
Dominic West – “The Crown”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Helen Mirren – “1923”
Bella Ramsey – “The Last of Us”
Keri Russell – “The Diplomat”
Sarah Snook – “Succession”
Imelda Staunton – “The Crown”
Emma Stone – “The Curse”
Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
Ayo Edebiri – “The Bear”
Natasha Lyonne – “Poker Face”
Quinta Brunson – “Abbott Elementary”
Rachel Brosnahan – “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Selena Gomez – “Only Murders in the Building”
Elle Fanning – “The Great”
Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
Bill Hader – “Barry”
Steve Martin – “Only Murders in the Building”
Martin Short – “Only Murders in the Building”
Jason Segel – “Shrinking”
Jason Sudeikis – “Ted Lasso”
Jeremy Allen White – “The Bear”
Best Supporting Actor, Television
Billy Crudup – “The Morning Show”
Matthew Macfadyen – “Succession”
James Marsden – “Jury Duty”
Ebon Moss-Bachrach – “The Bear”
Alan Ruck – “Succession”
Alexander Skarsgård – “Succession”
Best Supporting Actress, Television
Elizabeth Debicki – “The Crown”
Abby Elliott – “The Bear”
Christina Ricci – “Yellowjackets”
J. Smith-Cameron – “Succession”
Meryl Streep – “Only Murders in the Building”
Hannah Waddingham – “Ted Lasso”
Best Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
“Beef”
“Lessons in Chemistry”
“Daisy Jones & the Six”
“All the Light We Cannot See”
“Fellow Travelers”
“Fargo”
Best Performance by an Actor, Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Matt Bomer – “Fellow Travelers”
Sam Claflin – “Daisy Jones & the Six”
Jon Hamm – “Fargo”
Woody Harrelson – “White House Plumbers”
David Oyelowo – “Lawmen: Bass Reeves”
Steven Yeun – “Beef”
Best Performance by an Actress, Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Riley Keough – “Daisy Jones & the Six”
Brie Larson – “Lessons in Chemistry”
Elizabeth Olsen – “Love and Death”
Juno Temple – “Fargo”
Rachel Weisz – “Dead Ringers”
Ali Wong – “Beef”
Best Original Score, Motion Picture
Ludwig Göransson – “Oppenheimer”
Jerskin Fendrix – “Poor Things”
Robbie Robertson – “Killers of the Flower Moon”
Mica Levi – “The Zone of Interest”
Daniel Pemberton – “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse”
Joe Hisaishi – “The Boy and the Heron”
Best Picture, Non-English Language
“Anatomy of a Fall” (Neon) – France
“Fallen Leaves” (Mubi) – Finland
“Io Capitano” (01 Distribution) – Italy
“Past Lives” (A24) – United States
“Society of the Snow” (Netflix) – Spain
“The Zone of Interest” (A24) – United Kingdom
Best Original Song, Motion Picture
“Barbie” – “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish and Finneas
“Barbie” – “Dance the Night” by Caroline Ailin, Dua Lipa, Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt
“She Came to Me” – “Addicted to Romance” by Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa
“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” – “Peaches” by Jack Black, Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Eric Osmond, and John Spiker
“Barbie” – “I’m Just Ken” by Mark Ronson, Andrew Wyatt
“Rustin” – “Road to Freedom” by Lenny Kravitz
Best Motion Picture, Animated
“The Boy and the Heron” (GKids)
“Elemental” (Disney)
“Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” (Sony Pictures)
“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” (Universal Pictures)
“Suzume” (Toho Co.)
“Wish” (Disney)
Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy or Television
Ricky Gervais – “Ricky Gervais: Armageddon”
Trevor Noah – “Trevor Noah: Where Was I”
Chris Rock – “Chris Rock: Selective Outrage”
Amy Schumer – “Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact”
Sarah Silverman – “Sarah Silverman: Someone You Love”
Wanda Sykes – “Wanda Sykes: I’m an Entertainer”
Cinematic and Box Office Achievement
“Barbie” (Warner Bros.)
“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” (Disney)
“John Wick: Chapter 4” (Lionsgate Films)
“Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” (Paramount Pictures)
“Oppenheimer” (Universal Pictures)
“Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” (Sony Pictures)
“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” (Universal Pictures)
“Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour” (AMC Theatres)
Still, it could be worse. It could be the Oscars, or even the (gags) Met Gala.
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