I sat through Red Sonja this week, and well, it was terrible. What I wanted to see was a movie like Deathstalker, because of trailers like this. Warning, it’s NSFW.
That sword at the end! How hard is it to remake an ’80s sword and sorcery movie? Give the people what they want: swords, blood, head splitting and more blood.
Deathstalker stars Daniel Bernhardt, Christina Orjalo, Paul Lazenby, Nina Bergman, Jon Ambrose, Laurie Field, and Conor Sweeney. Steven Kostanski is the writer and director. He is known for movies like The Void, Psycho Goreman, and recently, Frankie Freako.
I reviewed Frankie Freako, and it wasn’t that good, to be honest. It had potential but didn’t quite nail it. However, I’m up for Deathstalker. The blurb is:
A reboot of the cult classic 1983 sword and sorcery film.
Fine, if you’re going to be like that, here is the blurb from the original movie:
A lone warrior nicknamed Deathstalker is sent by a witch on a quest to find a sword, a chalice, and an amulet, two of which are held by the wicked king and sorcerer, Munkar.
I haven’t seen the original movie for a while, but I remember liking it. It did exactly what it was supposed to do: entertain, with monsters, swords and boobs. I’m a simple man, I like simple things. If you ever meet my wife, you’d understand.
There is no rating for this new Deathstalker. From the trailer, we can see it contains violence. If it’s got boobs, we’ve got a decent movie! I want to apologise for how shallow I’m being, but I’m just giving you guys what I know you’re thinking.
Deathstalker is released on the 10th of October, and you can believe a review will be incoming.
