It’s not often a trailer stops you so completely in your tracks and makes your jaw hit the floor. Not at the sheer majesty of what you are witnessing, but quite the opposite. Really, and I mean really, opposite. So it is with Star Trek: Starfleet Academy.
Now, I am no Trekkie, Trekker, whatever, but I do like a bit of Star Trek. I am not steeped in the lore. I could not critique character motivations and pick out an Easter egg from 1000 yards like Yoda, but I know what it is, at heart.
And this. This is… just… wow. It is just… no, I still can’t quite get the words. They just won’t come.
All I can think is that it simply looks so bad, we will have to get Boba Phil to watch it.
I simply cannot think of anything else to say that wouldn’t be me just going off on some invective laden rant that would really help nobody.
Here, see for yourself:
In other Trek Academy news, before I give myself a seizure taking this trailer apart, Paramount+ has set the launch date as January 15th 2026, with two episodes dropping that day.
In a sign that they may now just be completely taking the piss deliberately, it has also been announced that Stephen Colbert has officially joined the cast as the Digital Dean of Students.
Starfleet Academy stars Holly Hunter, Paul Giamatti, Tig Notaro, and Robert Picardo.
Guest stars will include Oded Fehr, Gina Yashere and Mary Wiseman.
The classmates will be played by Sandro Rosta, Karim Diané, Kerrice Brooks, George Hawkins, Bella Shepard, and Zoë Steiner.
Alex Kurtzman remains guilty as charged.
