Anaconda was an odd movie. Firstly, it’s a remake/reimagining, but it was actually fairly original at the same time. They also leaned into nostalgia and, overall, it worked for me.
The movie stars Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Selton Mello, and Daniela Melchior. Tom Gormican is the director, and it was a lot like one of his other movies, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.
The Story
This is a sequel to Anaconda (1997), but it’s also not:
A group of friends are going through a midlife crisis. They decide to remake a favourite movie from their youth, but encounter unexpected events when they enter the jungle.
We meet Doug McCallister (Black), who makes wedding videos for people. He’s trying to sell a couple the idea of a horror-themed ‘movie’ for their wedding video. The couple want the standard cheesy crap. Doug is fed up with this.
Ronald Griffin Jr. (Rudd) is a failing actor in LA. Ronald and Doug were supposed to head to Hollywood and ‘make it’, but alas, life got in the way. Ronald heads back to their hometown for Doug’s birthday and watch their first movie they made on VHS video. Ronald hits upon an idea; they should make a sequel to their favourite movie from their childhood, Anaconda.
They head to the Amazon with some friends in tow and begin to make the movie. They meet Ana (Melchior), who is on the run from some bad men. She ends up conning them into thinking they are safe, but she has other motives.
As per usual, I’m only going over the basics, but the movie does suffer from a bloated script, but that’s beside the point.
The Cast
You either love Jack Black or hate him. I don’t mind him, and he can be funny when he’s restrained. He reminds me of me, back when I had energy and a zest for life. Gormican does a good job of holding him back, and he’s a good actor when this happens. I don’t see him winning an Oscar, but he makes good characters.
Steve Zahn always gets a pass from me. I love the guy. He always turns up, plays a wacky character, and is fun. Here, he is the same.
The rest of the cast are all there, and I had no complaints, bar one. Newton is a stunningly good-looking lady, but in Anaconda, they seemed to have beaten her with the ugly stick. The same thing they did in Solo: A Star Wars Cash Grab. Fortunately, for as bad as Newton looked, Melchoir looked good, damn good!
The other issue was Santiago, played by Selton Mello. I’ve never heard of him, and he was a non-entity of a character. I wish they had cast someone bigger or just someone funnier; it would have added a lot.
Meta-Conda
The weird thing about Anaconda is how it is subtly meta. I’m not spoiling a lot, but while the team is on the Amazon, they see another production company, Sony, which is filming an official sequel to Anaconda.
This made me laugh, as I don’t think I’ve seen a movie that is about making a sequel to another movie. I might be wrong, but it was a clever take and an original take on the idea. Hang on, didn’t American Psycho 2 do it? I forget. Wait, maybe The Human Centipede 2 as well, but that’s not a good example.
As I said, Gormican directed The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, which was sort of meta. It had Nicolas Cage playing himself and also his younger self. It didn’t break the fourth wall, but the audience knew what was going on.
Nostalgia
The main thing I liked about this new Anaconda was how Ronald and Doug were like me. They grew up on movies, even making their own on VHS videos. I did that when I was young. Sadly, they no longer exist, but I would love to see them again. I did try to make a Superman movie with an action figure I had.
If a few mates turned up on my doorstep today, saying they want to make a movie, I would seriously consider it. I’m stuck making boring railway videos, but the chance to make a sequel to a movie from my childhood? It would be awesome. I would totally make another Emmanuel.
For me, the thought of making a movie for the fun of it, one last time, hit me. I liked Ronald and Doug in Anaconda. I felt for them, I knew how they felt. Again, for me, this really added to the movie, as it was aimed at someone like me, growing up, loving movies, and having dreams of what could have been.
Overall
I watched the original Anaconda recently and had fun with it. I mean, it’s bloody awful; how good a movie could it be with Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez (I’m not calling her J-Lo) in it? That and Jon Voight, who only had one expression: creepy leer.
As I said, the story overcomplicates itself in the second act. It’s kind of interesting, but it took away from the main story and the comedy. They had to pad it out a little, but it could have been done better.
I found myself laughing out loud in places, though. Some of Anaconda is really funny, a little twisted, but still funny. I liked the cameos as well; it’s a pity the trailer spoiled them.
Anaconda is a great ‘beer with mates’ movie, you can have a lot of fun with it, even though it’s bloody stupid. If you’re the same as me, you would love to go on an adventure and make a movie, even this late in life.
I know that Anaconda isn’t going to be to everyone’s taste, it’s not high-brow, and it has Jack Black in it. If you want to have a laugh, it’s worth a couple of hours of your time. I would watch it again, and I’m giving it a solid 3.5 out of 5. It is just a good laugh.
Anaconda is still in cinemas in the UK, or on VoD in the US.
