We had a review, the other day, from Wrenage, for Wolf Man. It seemed to be a werewolf movie with not many werewolves. Shame, if you’re going to watch a movie like that, you want to see bloody teeth and spilled guts.
Well, I haven’t seen Wolf Man yet, but I did find Werewolves. This is a werewolf movie with lots and lots of werewolves, blood and guts. Not much story, but who needs that?
Werewolves stars Frank Gillo, Katrina Law, Ilfenesh Hadera, James Cody Michael Cummings, Lou Diamond Phillips, Kamdynn Gary, Lydia Styslinger and James Kyson. Steve C Miller directs, and Matthew Kennedy writes.
The Story
I actually thought this was an original take on a werewolf movie. I can’t think of anything like this, please correct me if I’m wrong, but:
Two scientists try to stop a mutation that turns people into werewolves after being touched by a super-moon the year before.
We open with Dr Aranda (Diamond Phillips) who explains that a year ago, a supermoon turns anyone exposed to it into a werewolf. Interesting right?
Last year, they were totally unprepared for the event, but this year another super moon is due, and everyone is ready. It reminded me of The Purge, everyone putting up electric fences, bear traps and even remote controlled pepper spray.
Wesley (Grillo) is at his dead brother’s wife’s house, helping them get set up. It gets a bit schmaltzy, the brother is dead, but taught the wife a mantra about pushing through. There is a kid that needs looking after.
Wesley has to head to a secret facility where they are going to test a new serum that can cure werewolfness, werewolfism, well, whatever it was called.
They have people that were turned, and captured, from the last supermoon.
It turns out that one of the doctors has a relationship with one of the potential werewolves. I thought this was odd since he could have turned at any point in time. Maybe she wanted him to go feral in the sheets.
While this is going on, everyone else is hiding in the purge, I mean, the super moon, by hiding in the subways, tunnels and ‘your mom’s butt’.
Basically, if you stay out of the moonlight, you won’t turn.
Oh No, I didn’t See That Coming
With the test subjects locked up in cages, they are sprayed with some ‘magical water’ that means they shouldn’t change. They are exposed to the moonlight and it works, they have been cured of their werewolfitus.
Well, it does for about 2 minutes, then it doesn’t, the subjects turn into werewolves and all hell breaks loose.
Obviously, it all goes wrong and everyone gets killed, apart from Wes and some hot doctor. They need to get back to his dead brother’s wife’s house to make sure she and the kid are OK.
They go across the city, hiding from werewolves and people dressed up so the moonlight doesn’t hit them, who are on a werewolf killing spree, like the Purge.
Wes and the hot doc are protected from the moonlight, coz they have taken some of the ‘magical water’ stuff, so that clears up that plot hole.
They get back to the house and someone, I won’t say who, but someone turns into a werewolf to save the day. If you don’t guess who, you’re a moron! It’s obvious from the opening credits.
A New Take On Werewolves
The neighbour of the dead brother’s wife is a gun nut and going to enjoy the purge, I mean super moon turn. He wears a vest saying Wolf Killer and puts on ‘war paint’, three stripes in red, white and blue. ‘MURICA!
Mild spoiler, but as he’s fighting the wolves, one of them throws a fridge through his window, exposing him to moonlight! I laughed at this, it was funny.
Anyways, he turns into a werewolf, with body armour and a red, white and blue, stripes on his face.
The best bit was where Wes, and the hot doc, were running around the city. There’s one werewolf that was in a leather jacket and huge earrings. That’s a new take on me.
The makeup and animatronics were really good. They had a traditional look, big teeth, big ears and they growl like a dog if you get near its dinner.
I didn’t see a lot of CG on the wolves, but I’m guessing most of the budget went on Frank ‘I was in Captain America’ Grillo.
Overall
Werewolves is a silly, but fun movie. It tries to take itself too seriously in places, only to have the ‘American Werewolf’, sprayed with pepper spray and then wash its eyes in a bird bath. I really laughed at that; it was splashing the water in its own eyes.
This isn’t going to change the genre, but it was fun. I mean, I was laughing at it, not with it, but I was having a good time.
It’s a ‘turn your brain off and enjoy’ type of movie. Sit down, with the lads, a few beers and take a drink every time something stupid happens.
Something that irked me was the HAZMAT suits in the secret facility. They do an ‘Ironman inside the helmet’ shot. They put the amount of oxygen and battery each person has. I don’t know why, but the battery runs out quicker than the batteries in your mom’s dildo.
Honestly, those suits would only last about 10 minutes.
Werewolves was good fun and I did laugh. I can’t say I’m going to stick it on every Christmas, but I would watch it again, if it was on and I couldn’t reach the TV remote. It gets a solid 2.5 out of 5 stars.
