Mercy — is that what you will beg for when you watch Chris Pratt’s latest film, Mercy?
Or will you beg for more?
Work with me here, people. Be like one of those audience members who answer questions asked by overly enthusiastic seminar speakers.
“Who here wants to reduce stress…and increase their workload!?”
On second thought, don’t be like that. Then I will want to punch you…
Mercy
Mercy is written by Marco van Belle, who might be Mario Bello transitioned. We can’t be sure. The names are similar enough where we must at least consider the possibility. Plus, when is the last time you saw Maria Bello?
She was a writer and producer on The Woman King. If she wanted to completely erase her identity after that, no one would blame her.
Timur Bekmambetov directed Mercy. Timur directed Night Watch, Day Watch, Wanted and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. At least the guy knows how to goof around. Plus, he produced 9, Apollo 18 and War of the Worlds 2025.
Timur is basically only a death away from an Academy Awards montage to the tune of Vitamin C’s Friends Forever.
Mercy takes place in the distant future of 2029. I admire the boldness. It’s about a cop dude who is accused of murdering his wife. He must prove his innocence to an AI judge in 90 minutes or be executed. He must do this by surfing the Internet.
If I was in his position, I would spend most of my trial sharing memes and cat videos with the AI judge. If you gotta go, go with a smile…
Mercy Me
The cop dude is played by Chris Pratt.
Man, what a journey that guy took. From Minnesota snow baby to Hawaiian beach bum. Then, affable TV sitcom star to comic book movie star to shirttail relation to the Kennedys via marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter. Now Pratt publicly confesses Jesus, tells media to stick it and stars in billion-dollar video game movies and streamers.
And Mercy, of course…
How does Pratt do as a wrongly accused, tough-as-nails cop, who needs to project emotions while strapped in a chair instead of roving the streets?
All I can say is, I genuinely believed he was strapped to that chair…
Have Mercy
Rebecca Ferguson plays the AI judge.
Why has no one made an Alien film that stars Rebecca Ferguson yet?
“What about Life!?” someone yells from the audience.
Okay, I will grant you that, but it’s too clean. I am thinking more along the lines of putting Ferguson in a dirty environment where she needs to take lots of showers and—
“You mean like Silo!?”
You know what, buddy. You’re starting to grind my gears. Security, show this portly, neck-bearded fellow to the door. You’ll have to turn him sideways to get him through it. Oh, that doesn’t work either. Feet first then? That’s right. Keep pushing. He will squish.
Ferguson has an iciness to her that lends itself well to playing an AI judge. She delivers her dialogue with the countenance of a death angel.
The Brits have Yanks beat when it comes to quality actresses. The British ladies can act circles around the best America has to offer. American actresses seem to perform off emotion and looks. British actresses seem to be able to divorce their looks from the equation and simply perform. This makes their talent less shallow.
Plus, America is dragged down by Zendaya. Really, Sydney Sweeney alone is carrying the USA at this point…on the shoulders of her mighty breasts.
Mercyful Fate
The genesis of Mercy seems to be that someone said, let’s make a movie that has no real action, some ham-fisted AI commentary and make it as overblown as Michael Bay with a $60 million budget. We can even throw in some CGI truck smashing.
Yet, it is strangely…watchable. The real-time aspect of Mercy must be the secret sauce that accomplishes this feat. The ticking clock trope is literally real. The timer is visible onscreen at various times as Pratt’s execution deadline draws nearer.
However, one area where Mercy hopelessly fails is with the whodunit aspect. The goal of a whodunit is to keep the killer a secret while the clues are sewn into the fabric of the film. When it’s all over, the viewer slaps their forehead over missing it while happily laughing at the fact they were bamboozled.
Here is how the whodunit in Mercy works…
The viewer watches for a few minutes and says, “Oh, it’s that person, I bet.”
And then the movie proves them exactly right…
Yet somehow the earnest stupidity of it all invites you to come along for the ride, and you hop aboard willingly enough. Mercy also throws in a couple wrinkles along the way to try to beef up the reveal. Are they successful?
How do you measure success in a movie that feels like it is on the verge of having an original ballad by White Lion play over its credits?
Merci
Mercy is not a good movie. Yet, I am guilty of watching the whole thing. Once Jay Jackson appeared in a newscast snippet that clearly referenced Ya Heard? With Perd! From Parks and Recreation, I fully locked into the stupidity like the differential of a semi-truck.
I throw myself on the mercy of the court. What is your verdict, Rebecca Ferguson? Not guilty by reason of insanity…because you drive me crazy?
