We featured the trailer for Familiar Touch recently, and it looked interesting. It’s a movie that deals with losing a loved one to dementia.
It’s not my usual thing, but I’m open-minded enough to try it. Dementia isn’t something I’ve had to deal with personally.
My mother phones me now and then and tells me who’s died and repeats the odd name, but that’s about it, but everyone knows how devastating it can be.
Familiar Touch stars Kathleen Chalfant, Carolyn Michelle, Andy McQueen, and H. Jon Benjemin.
The Story
The story is probably all too familiar to others around the world:
An octogenarian woman transitions to life in assisted living as she contends with her conflicting relationship to herself and her caregivers amidst her shifting memory, age identity, and desires.
We meet Ruth (Chalfant), who’s at home, cooking. Everything seems fine until the toast pops up and she puts it in the dish rack. At first, she doesn’t think about it, but then she seems to realise that something is wrong. This passes, however, and Steve (Benjamin) turns up.
From their conversation, there’s something amiss. We find out that Steve is Ruth’s son, and he’s had to make the difficult decision to put her in a care home.
Ruth thinks they are going out of the day, but it turns out that she picked the care home herself, but doesn’t remember.
As always, I’m not going to spoil the rest of the story, but we follow Ruth as she must deal with her own memory. She thinks she’s fine, but she also knows she isn’t.
The Cast
The main character is Ruth, in having to deal with her life changing in the way it is. There are times when you think Ruth is perfectly fine and her son should have left her to carry on living at home.
However, there are times when Ruth knows something is wrong.
When did she agree to go into a home? Why can’t she carry on living at home? Some of her memories are clear as spring water, but then there are times when they aren’t.
Chalfant is amazing! There are times when you think you’re watching a documentary, not a movie. I honestly cannot fault her performance as Ruth; it’s beautifully heartbreaking.
The rest of the cast is just as good. Michelle plays an orderly at the care home, who’s been dealing with dementia in others for a while. There are times she plays along with Ruth, and other times she has to remind Ruth of the reality of what’s going on.
Bitter Sweet
I wasn’t sure how Familiar Touch would affect me, since, as I said, I haven’t had to deal with dementia. The movie could have played out with just the trauma of dementia, but it does add some funny moments.
One morning, Ruth decides to help in the kitchen. The staff let her, so she can feel useful. It’s great the way she deals with Vanessa, and her boss, Brian (McQueen), and it puts a smile on your face.
The same with the interaction with Steve, the son she doesn’t remember having. It makes you laugh, although you can feel yourself on the edge of tears for Steve.
It’s fine for Ruth, she’s in her own little world, but it’s Steve who must deal with a mother who doesn’t recognise him.
Overall
As I said, I didn’t think Familiar Touch was my thing, and it’s still not, but I’m glad I have seen it. It’s a very well-directed movie, with some outstanding performances.
However, it’s not like I would go back to it again.
The writer/director, Sarah Friedland, has done a masterful job of telling the story. Saying that, though, there are times when the photography is a little too laboured. Some shots linger a little too long, and it took me out of the movie.
As we know, I’m a picky sod when it comes to movies, and I wish I could turn it off more at times. I do video editing in some of my work, so I always look at editing in other people’s work. I can’t help it.
I am being overly picky, though, as the Familiar Touch is a very beautiful movie, which is heartbreaking and fun, all at the same time.
I thought I was going to be crying towards the end, but I wasn’t. Again, I’ve not dealt with anyone I know or love having dementia, so maybe that took the edge off for me.
Maybe the movie dealt with it in a nicer way, with touches of humour to relieve the tension. It’s probably that I’m a heartless monster who thinks A Serbian Film wasn’t as funny as the book.
I’m giving Familiar Touch a healthy 4 out of 5 stars. It’s certainly worth watching, but if you have had a family member with dementia, it might hit you harder.
Familiar Touch will be in UK cinemas on 19th June.
