Crikey! This isn’t some kind of new Hollywood perversion, carried out at Eyes Wide Shut style parties behind closed doors in Beverly Hills. It turns out Jimmy Fallon, in this context, is a crocodile.
A Saltwater Crocodile, to be precise. One of the planet’s most dangerous creatures, not exactly known for their calm demeanour and playfulness.
Jimmy Fallon lives at the Australia Zoo under the supervision of Robert Irwin. Irwin is the son of sadly departed conservationist and TV personality Steve “The Crocodile Hunter” Irwin, and we still miss him every single day.
During a recent appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Robert Irwin revealed that he had been death rolled by a crocodile that was named after the US talk show host Fallon.
“I named this crocodile Jimmy Fallon, like, years ago, and he’s now what we call a boss croc. He’s huge, right?”
We research crocodiles in the wild to better conserve them, right? The way you do that — my dad came up with this — is you actually have to jump on them, right?
So I jumped on the back of Jimmy Fallon… and, get this, he death-rolled me. So I’m stuck underneath him with my arm hanging out. I’ve got like, probably, I don’t know, maybe 700 pounds on top of me? And I’m just like, ‘What do I do?
Luckily, Jimmy Fallon the crocodile eventually “rolled back the other way” and Robert made it to safety. With typical understatement, he declared:
“I was fine, but he’s a goer, Jimmy. He’s a goer.”
And you know that you all just read all that in your heads with a broad Australian accent. ‘Strewth!
