I watch a lot of movies, and I have been watching movies on and off for the past few weeks while doing work on my house. I’ve stumbled across a few more that I just couldn’t finish. I’m a fan of crappy movies. Give me some cheesy 80s action flick, and I’m happy. Even with the ability to handle that level of cheese, here are some of the movies I just couldn’t finish recently.
The Killer
This is a John Woo movie starring Nathalie Emmanuel, how could I not like it? I’ll tell you how. Because it’s a “girl boss” movie with Emmanuel beating up 15 guys at once.
Starring Emmanuel, Omar Sy, Sam Worthington, Diana Silvers, Said Taghmaoui, Eric Cantona, and Tcheky Karyo, the story is:
An assassin tries to make amends in an effort to restore the sight of a beautiful young singer.
I gave up after the first fight scene. It’s well done, Woo is an amazing director, but seeing a woman beating up multiple men twice her size was enough for me to turn it off.
The other thing that annoyed me was Emmanuel’s short ‘boys’ haircut. She is a stunningly beautiful woman, why not let her be that on screen?
The Well
This movie did have Laura LaVera in it. I had seen her in The Terrifier 2 and liked her, a lot. How bad could this movie be? Bad, very bad. The story is:
A budding art restorer travels to a small Italian village to bring a medieval painting back to its former glory. Little does she know she is placing her life in danger from an evil curse and a monster born of myth and brutal pain.
I’m not going to list the cast, because LaVera is the only one worth mentioning.
I gave up on this when there are three people trapped next to the well in question. Two of them are a couple, and one of them was a struggle to figure out if it was a guy or a chick. It tries to throw a penknife at one of the others and manages to throw it badly. Must be a chick.
Dull story, mediocre acting, and more disjointedness than a skier after an avalanche.
Trigger Warning
This was on Netflix and I think the title should have been a warning. It starred Jessica Alba, so again, how bad could it be? The story is:
A special forces commando returns to her hometown after her father’s sudden death, only to run afoul of a violent gang when she starts asking questions.
Of course, Alba is a special forces commando. The rest of the story is about her beating up, outwitting, and generally being better than all the guys she encounters.
There you go, there are three movies you don’t have to suffer through because I did it for you, or at least started to. Two “girl boss” overloads and another cheap horror.