Ahh, Uwe Boll, you know what you’re getting with him: a polished turd. We talked about Arnie Hammer making a comeback, and it seems that the only director who will give him a chance is Boll. I was looking forward to seeing Citizen Vigilante.
There isn’t much to tell, but let’s go straight in, shall we?
The Story
The story of Citizen Vigilante is a political hot topic at the moment.
A man takes justice into his own hands, hunting down criminals. His vigilante crusade makes him a social media star but puts him at odds with the local police chief.
A young mother and her son are shopping. The kid asks for some chocolate, which the mum begrudgingly agrees to. The first of many, many cliches in the movie. As she walks out, a young man pulls a knife and cuts her throat. Doesn’t seem to steal anything, just kills her. I won’t say the geographic origin of the young gentleman, but then, you don’t need three guesses.
The movie kicks right in the middle of the story, so to speak. We meet Saunders (Hammer), who’s already living in Germany and is already a ‘local hero’. There’s an epidemic of crime, and he’s taking out the perpetrators, one by one.
Outside of his disguise, which is a baseball cap and shades, he’s a rich guy. Think Batman, but an asshole.
That’s pretty much it; that’s the story. I will spoil some plot details, but it’s because you don’t need to watch this movie.
Things That Make You Laugh
Citizen Vigilante isn’t a comedy, but man alive, it’s funny as hell.
There’s a moment on a bus, where three ‘youths’ don’t pay and hold the bus up. Saunders is there and basically pays for their tickets and gives them a lecture.
Why was this very rich man on a bus? Don’t know.
Later on, they are beating up another teenage and Saunders happens to be there. What are the chances, over 500,000 people in the city, and he’s there. #DontThinkConsume
This time, he beats up the two lads, breaks their arms, hooray! Although there was a young lady with them, he did beat her up. I can’t, for the life of me, think why. What would be so wrong about filming a scene where Arnie Hammer beats up a teenage girl? Oh, wait, I see it now. #DodgedABullet
Saunders is rich and owns some buildings, one of which is being run as a brothel. What does he do about the exploitation of women? He goes there, pays one of the women, and has a pleasant time with her.
In fact, this scene gets worse. As they are ‘doing the dirty’, he notices that there are damp patches in the ceiling and walls. He stops the sex, asks if she opens the windows after clients have had a shower.
Yes, in the middle of the sex, the young lady gets a lecture about how mould can grow in damp conditions. I’m not kidding here, I’m not clever enough to make something like this up!
Morals. Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Morals
As I said, the Citizen Vigilante is an asshole. At one point, he murders a number of police officers who are trying to track him down. The scene is hilariously bad, as it includes one copper whose face explodes. It’s done in such a way that you can see the canister of gas that blows the dummy’s face off.
There’s another scene where Saunders is proving a point to a politician. How does he do this? He’s driving a car and switches lanes into oncoming traffic. The poor car, coming the other way, veers off the road, ends up in a ditch and explodes. An innocent family was murdered to make a point. #Nice
Boll
Uwe Boll is a director; he’s competent enough to point the camera in the right direction. In Citizen Vigilante, there is a moral message, which is: Go out and kick the crap out of immigrants.
Genuinely, Saunders gives a speech about taking the law into one’s own hands, as the politicians won’t do it. Go and beat up, kill immigrants to take your country back. Thank goodness no one is going to see this movie.
There is a message in the movie, but it’s so badly executed and badly written that it’s just all wrong. When I say ‘wrong’, I mean it’s the wrong way to spread the message. Laws have to be followed; otherwise, what’s the point? Saunders just went around killing people, but it was for a good cause. And he gets away with it all.
Overall
I’m going to be careful what I say about immigration, as I live in the UK and wouldn’t last long in prison. As I said, Citizen Vigilante hits on a hard topic and says what most people seem to be thinking. However, it then takes people to the edge and pushes them over.
Are local youths annoying you? Beat them up or kill them. Just don’t get caught. The movie is blatantly promoting violence. A skilled writer might have got this point across well, maybe inserted some moral greyness, but instead it’s Boll. It would be like trying to have a message about dealing with learning difficulties in Dumb & Dumber.
Citizen Vigilante is an entertaining movie, for all the wrong reasons. It’s borderline Birth of a Nation, and I could see it being used by local vigilante mobs as a training video. The effects are terrible, the acting is beyond awful; the girl who reads the news was about as convincing as a defence lawyer for Hammer. Oh, wait.
The scene at the brothel, the music is all tense and thrilling, even though it ends in a lecture about mould. The scene where the innocent police are brutally murdered, the music sounds like cheery elevator music. I would say it was ironic, but I doubt Boll is that clever.
Citizen Vigilante is worth a watch because it’s a Boll movie, like watching an Ed Wood movie. The moral fibre of the movie, especially at the end, is horrendously awful, so much so that this was a final flash card.
The Last Movie Outpost would like to point out that you should not go out and murder people just because they are from a different culture. We love everyone here, well, apart from the Irish. (jk!)
I can’t give this a star rating as it makes a total fudge of any moral aspect. It handles an important topic in such a hamfisted way.
As a movie lover, this movie is entertaining, in that it’s something to laugh at.
